Dishonorable desire for honor

The king then crossed over to Gilgal, taking Kimham with him. All the troops of Judah and half the troops of Israel escorted the king on his way.
    But all the men of Israel complained to the king, “The men of Judah stole the king and didn’t give us the honor of helping take you, your household, and all your men across the Jordan.”
    The men of Judah replied, “The king is one of our own kinsmen. Why should this make you angry? We haven’t eaten any of the king’s food or received any special favors!”
    “But there are ten tribes in Israel,” the others replied. “So we have ten times as much right to the king as you do. What right do you have to treat us with such contempt? Weren’t we the first to speak of bringing him back to be our king again?” The argument continued back and forth, and the men of Judah spoke even more harshly than the men of Israel. (2 Samuel 19:40–43)

Why do petty slights take on such significance and cause such deep hurt?
Hey— who are you calling “petty”? That hurts!
Don’t be stupid. I didn’t call you petty.
Now you’re calling me stupid! I’ll get you for that!

…and on it goes.

Why? Honor is a pretty big deal to most of us, even most of us who think it’s not. Why else would we get so heated? Why else would we be so insistent on clearing up any misunderstanding that makes us look bad?